This one's for you, Grandma GG

Hi ya girls. Confession time: I had a Starbucks Grande Iced Raspberry Mocha Skim with whip AND a brownie on my way to my parent's house Friday night. It was all in tribute to Grandma - I inherited my sweet tooth from her. So, that was going to be it - my sugar for the weekend. But then I failed. My aunt brought over peanut butter chocolate brownies. My grandma LOVED peanut butter/chocolate anything. When I lived in Colorado and she would come to visit, we would go to a restaurant called Shari's and we both would get the chocolate peanut butter pie. It was our "thing". So, despite my best efforts to ingnore the pan all day Saturday, I caved and had about 1 1/2 regular size pieces or one really big piece, whichever way you want to look at it. So, anything I lost in the last couple weeks was probably put right back on. I will be purchasing a scale tomorrow so that I can regulate that better.

I was talking to Chris about how I was disappointed in myself for eating all of that. He said, "Well, I want to enjoy life." And when he said that, it hit me. I want to enjoy life too. I don't want to get bogged down with this stuff. At the same time I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH FOOD. There, I said it. So for someone who doesn't have that particular problem (Chris likes to eat, don't get me wrong, but it isn't an obsession for him like it is for me), they may not understand. So I explained to him that it would be the same as telling an alcoholic, "Go ahead, enjoy life, have as much as you want to drink." When I told Chris that, I think he realized how serious of an issue I feel that this is for me. But isn't it so true? I want to be to the point where a stressful situation comes up and I don't immediately gravitate toward sugar and chocolate. But obviously I have not arrived yet by a long shot!!

So my sweet husband finally kind of "gets it". We got Chinese take out for supper last night and I (not even thinking about it) started to unwrap one of the fortune cookies for myself. He said, "Ummm, does that count as sugar?" I said, "Oh, yeah - thanks."

As for Grandma GG - well, she was sweet and had lots of spunk in her and I am so thankful that she didn't suffer. She's in heaven - she's with Grandpa. She always liked to tell me, "I'm a lifetime member of Weight Watchers." She was very proud of this. So Grandma, I hope to enjoy sweets in moderation someday and when I do, I'll think of you!