Sleeping in has become a sort of idolatry. That and blogging, as I found that much more important to do until 1am rather than to go to bed. Granted I need it, but don't I need time with God? I start doing mindless things when I haven't been with God in His Word. The lesson says, "until we see this sin as God does, there is no hope for true repentance." Do I see sin as God sees sin? NO, I don't. I hate to admit that, but it is hard for me to see the seriousness of sin, especially my own. Rather, I take comfort when one of you falls prey to the same thing I do and I wish I were you when one of you is revelling in a moment you had with God rather than aspire to be that same kind of woman that God wants for me to be. For those I apologize. To both of you and to God. True repentance??? We will see.
Not too long ago I had a talk with my sister about desiring to pleas God over desiring to please our spouse, difficult as that may be. Well, I desire to please myself more than I desire to please God. With weight loss, I want to be thin and I want to look hotter to my husband and I want to be attractive to other people and my kids...all about me. How do we get beyond that to realizing that it's God's opinion on ALL things that matters? What I really want is to be thin because it is an outward manifestation of my inward heart change that shows I have control over indulging myself and it is that mindset which brings glory to God. How do we get there?
- God, I pray that in our mundane, we would not forget that you are still there with us and that you would give us minds that aren't so easily torn away from you. That you would show us that in all things, you are there for us to think about and be thankful toward and to glorify, and not only in the quietness of our day, if we get that far, but even in our busyness. We cannot continually go through our days doing our own thing, mindlessly neglecting you until in a quiet moment you get our attention. May our every thought contain you. May our every action reflect your presence and may we sacrifice daily our wants, our selfishness, our pride, our disobedience. Reveal ourselves...our true selves so that we cannot hide any longer behind false repentance, or any other mask we might use. Show us glimpses of you daily for encouragement and may we not fear for your return as I often do because I have been too caught up in non-eternal things and I am ashamed. Teach us to love you more. Teach us to teach our children the same. May these not just be words that wax eloquent but be the crying out of my heart to a loving and compassionate and forgiving God who desires to wake me up from the slumber of wickedness. Reveal yourself to us like never before and awake our souls to fulfill our reason for living and in turn glorify you, our LORD. Only YOU have the power to make this change in us and it for that that I pray...change my heart o God!
When God enables us, we can do so much more than when we are trying in vain to control things ourselves. My only problem is that I don't know how to surrender my will, my "trying" to Him. Hopefully this next week will be a more full and a more surrendered one to this lesson and to God Himself...even while on vacation. Ugh...
see you all soon!
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