Psalm Snacks

Well, I don't really know except I heard a part of the Women of Moderation broadcast talking about reading a Psalm when you are craving food. Kind of retraining the mind to crave the thing it truly needs by taking in what it needs when you get a food craving. I have made it yesterday and so far today without the sweets.

How are you all doing? I feel like I need prayer, so shoot one up for me if you get a chance. It is the whole craving love thing that I fall into more often than I'd like. Intellectually, I know that Christ is my ultimate love and not even my earthly husband can satisfy that craving, only HE can. However, transferring this knowledge to my heart is another matter. With dragging you two down with sordid details, my thought life has gotten the best of me recently and I feel like I am fighting an up hill battle. Just pray for me to have purity of thought and mind!

Sam - how are you doing? You just keep on blogging your thoughts, because I can only imagine that will help with the depression issues. You are loved and blessed by God and I am so thankful for you and your sense of humor. I'm hugging you across the miles!!

And Michelle - what's up? Are you keeping sane at your insane pace??

Later
E

Psalm snacks?

Okay Erin, what is this? This is the first time I've heard of such...interested in it though, so let me know. Oh, and I am so glad I was able to be the center of your amusement in the last couple of blogs. :) I had to find something funny about the whole thing. Michelle, no I don't leave my kids outside the stalls...have you seen what people in Texas look like? And believe me, my little angels' fingers find every filthy, gross, and disgusting thing to touch...and then, they never remember to wash hands, so do I need to go any further. Regarding paperwork...all 3 were made to turn and face the wall...(I'm laughing now...if that weren't truamatizing enough). Now that I am thinking about it, I probably didn't even need to do that...my "tube of love" falls below and covers Inga quite nicely. Okay...anyway. :)

I lost a pound this week. I am really trying not to get discouraged, but I am. I really thought giving up this coke thing would work wonders. I'm doing a better job, notice I didn't say good, on making the right choices, and have noticed some triggers for me that I am going to have to avoid all together. (I really think Satan lives in my tv). Paul has been great about encouraging me, but I am just sad right now and I don't know if it is because of this diet/change or just stress related to family issues. Mom has been sick with stomach pain, etc. and will have a scope on March 13th "to make sure it isn't Cancer." Yeah, that is a way to put it to a 70 year old. Dad, on the other hand, is now having these sores appear all over his face, and of course, everyone including himself is worried about that, but here again, he won't think about going and having them looked at because he knows the diagnosis won't be good. Oh, it drives me crazy, sad & helpless, but still crazy. So, all of that to say, pray for me. I'm fighting the blues and I REALLY don't want to go on medication again. I've been off of it for a while now and hoping that this is just me PMSing, or being concerned. I know if I can exercise it will be better. My intentions are always good in the morning, but by evening I haven't done any physical activity yet. Pushing a 60 min workout at 8 p.m. isn't happening. So, my new goal for today is to do 30 mins this morning, and 30 mins tonight after church, and maybe some "outdoor playing" with the kids after Caleb gets home. My other goal is to not turn on the TV at all today. I could be spending that time with the Lord, or laundry, ...but not TV. And I am limiting my time on the computer to before 9 am. So with that, I need to go...quiet time and exercise before anything else. Love you girls!

Sam'

What are you laughing about?

That is what Chris just said. He's reading the paper in the other room and I am catching up on five missed days of this precious blog and rolling on the floor. Thanks for the visual, Sam. And the response, Michelle. I think I did at least twenty sit ups worth of belly laughing!

I'll start with the bad news. I have not been able (Okay, I admit it - WILLING) to let go of the sweets this past week. I will blame it on a worse than usual menstrual cycle. I was seriously an emotional weirdo wreck last week - so much so that Chris was like - do you need to switch your pill or something? Anyway, I am back to sanity and my goal starting as I type this for the week is to not eat sweets, but find a healthy alternative through Friday. I know, that was my goal last week and I failed miserably. Somebody needs to think of a good consequence for me if I cannot stick to it this time. Any ideas?? Or a good reward if I can do it.

Good news. I did meet my February weight goal. I weighed yesterday and am 149.5! Now that I am under 150, I don't want to go back over -which will only happen if I can MODERATE my food intake!! I fit back into my favorite Calvin Klein jeans - I was so happy that I wore them yesterday and today. Obviously, these minor successes have happened because I have stuck religiously to my training schedule. The hard work in that area is paying off.

But, back to the eating thing, when my miles increase I really need GOOD food to keep me properly fueled and all. So I really need to get it together with the food. And, it goes back to - the last time I spend quality time with the Lord is last Thursday. What have I been doing instead of leaning on Him during an emotional time? EATING. Uggghhh!

Okay, so - my revised goal is that I need to spend time with the Lord INSTEAD of chowing. So, for the next three days I want to try out those Psalm snacks - or whatever they are called. And blog EACH day to let you know how I am doing. (Okay, I admit I avoided the blog because I didn't want to admit I failed at last week's goal. Sorry, girls!)

Enough about me - how are you girls doing? Seems like you each have some great things going on and are moving in the right direction. I am so proud of you both. Sam - post a picture of your collage if you get a chance! I'd love to see it.

Also, you are both lovely and wonderful and loved by God exactly as you are wherever you are in life. Isn't that awesome - he will NEVER stop loving us no matter what.

Time to go - Chris is done with the paper and it is ... American Idol time!

Yeah, Michelle!

Wow...15 pounds! Good for you!!! I'm so proud of you. It makes me kick myself, but proud of you! I will weigh in again on Wednesday. I have been making better choices and I seem to "feel" good/better...my skin feels good, etc. My goals for the week are to get some exercise in! We had two extra kids over the weekend due to our friends needing to be in New York for a funeral, so I sat and played...not much exercising. Today, I have Niki's two babies, but enough laundry to keep me breathing hard for 6 hours. I'll try to blog tonight to say I've done a workout. Paul is in Baton Rouge tonight, so if nothing else, I hope to get some exercise in after I put the kids to bed. Talk to you then.

Sam'

15 down, 40 to go

Well, another hard day of work at the house is done. The upstairs is almost completely done. A few pieces of trim, carpet and some things in the bathroom and that's done. The kithen was a bit of a headache and still has to get fixed but that's for another day. I guess all in all, we survived the day. At least we did it without the poops. By the way, Sam, what the heck are you doing cramming all the kids in the stall with you??? Can't they wait for you outside the stall? Besides, how do you effectively do the paperwork with all the kids...especially Caleb...in there? Crazy!

I dropped below the 190 mark for a bit...you know how you weigh less in the morning than in the evening...well, 189.5. Yippee!!! I still haven't gotten myself to where I was when I delivered my 1st 4 kids. Close, though. I made a baby step today. We had pancakes for breakfast and instead of eating them all because I wanted to, I actually left some behind because I was full. Imagine that. Of course I nibbled on trail mix all day. That's not terribly unhealthy. Trail mix and water like it's going out of style.

I don't want to be on long today as I have to get a shower and go to bed. It's quite late and I am pooped and cannot think all that clearly. Erin, I hope you had a great shopping day with your mom and Sam, I hope you are stopped up now and dont' traumatize your kids by dragging them into your crapper 3 times in a day! :-)

Love you guys~
michelle

any goals for the week???

Da poopies!

Well, success for today: I actually wanted to make better eating choices and I DID! I have been battling the want tos with the need tos. Today though, I think I was the closest I've ever been to having those two the same. This was the first morning I woke up without CRAVING anything sweet, and so I chose yogurt and a half cup of high fiber cereal on top.

I had to take Niki to chemo today with my 3 kids. So I dropped her off and planned on watching a movie in the van. Well, plans were going well until I felt a twinge in my stomach, and sure enough, diarrhea was on its way! Here we go...me, the 3 kids, trotting off to the nearest McDonalds. Note to self: SMALL bathrooms....I have all 3 of them in the stall with me, yours truly on the toilet, and Bailey standing by the door with her nose in the crease of her arm screaming, "Oh mom, that is some stinky poop!" Naturally, this was during the lunch hour so you can only imagine how many other people visited the other stall during this time. Yeah, that is a vision for you...hmmm...high fiber cereal? :) Actually, it has to be a bug because we visited yet another rest room before picking Niki up from her 1 hour appointment, and then went 3 times once I got home. It wasn't a pretty picture to say the least. I think the children have been traumatized!~ And why I shared all of that with you guys...I don't know. Sorry.

Ah,...how is that for a blog? Hope it made you smile. As for me, I'm sitting a little lighter tonight. The collage is working!!! I would strongly suggest the two of you do it. I have always heard this used as a motivational tool for leadership, etc., ...it actually works! Try it. :) Love to you both and hope to read from you soon.

Sam'

2, carry the one, /3...

Well, yesterday was hectic. I tried to keep up with calories, and I did fine until dinner...It is hard for me to count calories as I cook, especially since I don't have a scale, book, etc. For the most part, I think I stayed pretty close to 1200. Do either of you know what it is supposed to be?

Things are busy here...and I like it that way. If I find myself bored and lazy, I become the pantry's best friend. The only problem (if you can call it that) is that we haven't nothing sweet, so I want to graze until I find something to feel that void. I think it is best for me to just be out of the house at that time.

Okay...now have to go pay for a transmission...nothing like oweing someone 2800.00 to make your day. I know, I know, be thankful for tax returns.

Talk to you later,

Sam'

12 hours later

Sorry that I didn't get to blog last night...I had to take some MORE Nyquil and ended up going to sleep. My day was okay...ate really healthy and another day without cokes. I'm hoping the resisting the devil will make him flee will start kickin' in! Some days I am not tempted, and other days seem like day one of withdrawal! ARRRRGGG!

I'm kind of down today...it's gloomy, I'm not feeling 100%, Niki is in one of her funks and is not talking, yada yada yada. So, I am going to have to get up and do something fun...thinking about that collage!!! Got to get some things cut out and put up...I'm visual. I've been pretty bummed lately just because I haven't seen any weight loss. I am going to go weigh again before I eat breakfast...I really thought by taking at least 250-500 calories out of my day in just cokes alone, good golly, would help. I am really going to have to start counting the calories. I hate doing that because I feel like I am thinking about food, recording food, researching food all day long. But, I feel I have no choice. My BMI is 40%...40!!!! Almost half of me is total fat. Man, that slaps you in the face like nothing else! So, besides counting calories my other goal for today is exercise! I'll check back in tonight to let you know how I did. Have a good one!!! Love you both!

S

A quickie before bed...

a quick blog, that is...naturally.

I did great with my saying no to the cake last night, but like I told Erin, I did get it today. However, I start again with my no sweets today. Apparently I am unable to handle it just yet. Like my children in various ways, I am not responsible enough to handle the privilege of yummy foods. There's a kicker. Can't handle the responsibility at 30 years old. Hmm.

I will try and listen to Midday Connection tomorrow instead of waiting for the podcast, but that sounds like a good study for me. I say let's do it!

Tomorrow's goal is going to be more water! More water and perhaps I will run for at least 3 minutes on the treadmill. Sam, you can appreciate the difficulty in that! I also want to spend more time with my kids. I need to get down and play with them. Even though we have the gym tomorrow and this may be hard to do, It's what I feel needs to happen.

Be on the hunt for a traveling trophy...something that can be mailed cheaply!

I will be praying for you two for your goals this next week. Baby steps are still steps!

me

Checking In

Hi girls. Checking in really quick. Good day. It was a MOPS day and I avoided the sweets - I looked at sweets, I wanted sweets, but I avoided them.

Hope you two had a good day too. I'm really convicted the past few days about my need to pray. I feel God pressing on me to commune with him - so I did this afternoon when I wanted to eat.

Good night - hope to blog more tomorrow.

E

Bible Study

Hey girls...good morning. Well, y'all have me pumped about this Woman of Moderation study. I have it down on my calendar to listen to Moody tomorrow. I can get Mid-Day Connection on our Angel Network. Woowoo. I will have to find out what to do to get all of the previous Moderation studies. Sounds great! Oooohhh...maybe later in the year we can go to one of her speaking engagements...girls weekend? Maybe by then we will have met some goals, personally and financially and can go without feeling guilty

Keaton was up most of the night, which means I was too. In bed at 11-up at 12:30, 2:00 and then on Caleb's floor by 4. He is experiencing some bad dreams again, so I will do whatever it takes to get him through them. Anyway, I didn't get up as early as I planned, so I haven't done my Bible study yet. I hope to put in a video for the girls and get another day done. So let me go attend to them and then I hope to get back with you guys tonight. Everyone needs to blog tonight so we can see how each did today. I need to focus on today....I've been looking at the forest instead of the trees!

Have a great, healthy day!

Sam'

Thankful for YOU TWO

Whew. I needed this tonight, girls. Thanks for the posts.

I like the traveling "trophy" idea, Michelle.

Checkout these links for the Women of Moderation study. Sam, I listened to part 3 today where they talked about fasting. I remember having a conversation with you about the motiviation to fast when you are trying to lose weight. This really freed me up to try it.

http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_programarchive.aspx?id=11156

I love the idea of a study - maybe this Women of Moderation one?

Well, my goal for this week - back to no sweets until Saturday. I need a rule too!!

Later ladies.
Erin

God, is that you?

Hey there! Michelle, it was nice to sit down after my workout at Curves to read your blog. I have a two-week pass, so I am going to hit it hard while I have a chance...hoping it may jump start some weight loss. Curves is about my limit until the pool is up. So, success #1 is that I worked out today-even though I was the youngest there, I was breathing heavier and harder than anyone else...I wanted to make sure I was hitting my target zone, and if you know curves, you can move as little as you want. Thought if I was spending my time, it might as well be worthwhile! Success #2 is that I actually did get some quiet time in today...matter of fact, I did two days of the Beth Moore study today, which usually takes about a hour per day. I got the kids busy with other things with a reward of going to the park afterwards. It still amazes me that God gives me just what I need, just when I need it. I am currently 3 1/2 weeks behind in this study, but I am determined to catch up. Today, this is what I read: (in regards to renewing of the mind daily) "I decided that I not only needed my conscious mind renewed, but my subconscious mind renewed. In fact, I began to pray, "God, invade my dream life, my thoughts when I sleep, and every closet in my brain. Put your truth in the innermost places of my mind, even those I don't know exist." Then...here is the kicker..."God, fill me so completely with Your Holy Spirit that even my reactions and sudden impulses are godly!" Did God know I was fighting a sudden sweet impulse at that moment? Wow...blew me away! So with that, I am going to start praying that God makes my reactions and sudden urges Godly. Sunday night, Nathan said that if we try to do anything with OUR obedience to Him, we will fail every time. We are putting the effort on OUR obedience. Rather lets say, "God, I love you so much that I don't want to do _______________ because I KNOW it will make you unhappy, and how can I do that to someone who loves me so much!

So, what do you think our Tuesday goal should be? I will be willing to do a study and post about it. Got any good ones? I love Beth Moore, but her studies are very intense and you can get very behind in a short period of time. Do either of you have any ideas? Let me know. Michelle...like the traveling trophy thing...would we actually mail it to the other? Something else I am going to try is "visual therapy." I've always heard it worked, but never actually tried it. Put together a collage page of your goals...pictures of things that will help you get there. For me...right now my biggest thought motivator would be us going to Tennessee in late June. We are there for a week with family that we haven't seen in almost 2 years. I would love to walk to the pool without being embarrassed to the point of not going. Maybe pictures of family, kids, husband, a cute outfit. I am also going to get a CD of my fun, feel-good music...like Coco Moes ? Anyway, you get the picture. So, I think I am going to do that tomorrow, along with doing some ab, leg, and arm work, and of course, Bible Study. We can do this...I need some more support, lots more support, but down deep, I really think we can do this! Love you guys!

January repeat???

Hello all


I was starting to wonder if we needed to create a new not-as-strict "rule" for February so as to keep the junk away from our mouths. We all know that moderation is the goal...I know that satisfaction isn't in that cake, but I still had some and am constantly thinking about it simply because it tastes good, you know? I think I am personally going to go back to no sweets through March with the once-a-week exception. I enjoy (or at least I work better) having a rule to follow...am I a Pharisee or what...so I think that is what I need. I don't crave the sweets or anything, but with Titus' birthday, we got a Costco cake and holy cow are they good. I haven't yet gone hog wild, but I do think about it all the time. I am going to get to bed early tonight so that I can get up early and have my quiet time. Do you guys think that we would be able to do a study together and post about it??? Is it feasible to set goals and have a reward system for one another? I think there should be a traveling trophy of sorts...maybe something we could wear-a bracelet or necklace or something-that would be a reminder of what we are doing, Who we are doing it for and make it exciting between the three of us. Then send it to the one who, as we read our blogs, "deserves" it. We all like to get rewards, no matter what they are, right?!? Well, just a thought. Right now I think the "I won't" award goes to Sam for not taking those Cokes!!! Great job!!!

Erin, feel good about the fact that you are exercising, but we still need to get the crap out of our mouths in order to live obediently, run obediently, blog obediently, parent obediently. I promise to not take another piece of that cake tonight as I so badly want to...can't say much for tomorrow. Anyone else want to do a mini goal? A one day goal? Oh, and I will also have another glass of water before I go to bed! How did everyone's quiet time go today? I admit I didn't have one, hence early bed time tonight! That will be hard to do, going to bed early, but I know I can't be trusted not to talk myself out of getting out of bed at 6am when I haven't had much sleep!

Alright, I know that was all totally random with no great insights except for the obvious of how much a sinner I am with so much desire to please myself...I long to please My Lord even in what I eat...or better yet, in what I think about eating!!!

love you guys!

Obedience: word of the week

Ah, I finally got to go to church tonight...I have only been twice since we have been back from Michigan. Yeah, the sick bug really hit us, but Keaton should be the last one. She still runs her 103 fever, but by my estimate, should only have about 2 more days of it. Lets hope so! They have missed so much church, that I hate to take them back...with their "meltdowns" on starting SS, Choir, etc. all over again. Anyway, Caleb and I went tonight...and it was just what I needed to hear. We are doing a study of the kings...bottom line...all boils down to obedience. Nathan brought out a good point that I never had really looked at before...All of our "heros of faith" and the "Godly prophets" all seemed to slip up right after they were triumpunt over an obedience issue. Noah is a good example...saved only his family, harvested the first fruits of the new, plentiful land, and then got dog drunk and slept naked...and there is where it all began to hit me. Well, not the sleeping naked part...we have too many interuptions with fever coming into our room throughout the night. :) The challenge of obedience is fresh and new every morning. Thank God for the mercies that come too! Just because we think we deserve a pat on the back for being obedient, doesn't mean that we won't dive into the same temptation 5 mins from now. Wow! Never thought of it that way. God gives us opportunity all day long to be obedient. Bottom line is that He wants our obedience more than any sacrifice that we could possibly give. Ouch...that hurt, especially with me giving up the cokes. God doesn't care if I give them to Him, I'm doing that for my own good, wanting my own rewards for my sacrifice, ie weight loss. (Hmmm...wonder if that is why I haven't dropped one pound since giving the sugary things up. Makes you think.) He would rather have me come to Him with all of the other disobedience chocolates, I mean choices, that I have been hoping He would overlook. Another ouchy! So, since it is late...let me leave you with this. I don't know if this is just paraphrased, or if I am actually so dense that I have to have God break it down for me: God wants me to walk in obedience,
Talk in obedience,
Love in obedience,
Work in obedience,
Share in obedience,...
Eat in obedience!

Love you guys. Hope to hear from you soon! Press on!

Thanks for the picture, Sam!

Hey there. I am doing so horrible with eating and soooo well with exercising it is sort of ridiculous. I mean, I really need to go back to square one with the eating thing. . .

Help me out, girls. I need a good kick in the butt!

Success - I ran 3.5 miles yesterday afternoon and it felt really good. I am on pace for my half marathon. However, if I would stop nibbling all day long, I might not have to drag as much weight along with me when I jog.

More later...
the family is watching a movie together and Daddy is home with the movie!

The Best!

Hi my dear friends...I thought it would be appropriate of us to have our picture on our blog. How are you doing? I have successfully reached 1 week cola free. Oh my goodness...didn't think it would be this hard. For someone without an addiction to the cola sugars, I'm sure this wouldn't be such a big deal, but for me it has been huge, especially after the stresses of the last 7 days. Don't want to get into it all now as I am getting ready for bed...don't need my mind hashing things out...I want to sleep! Don't worry though, we are fine. Just seemed to be a week chopped full of little stresses that add up to big stress. But hey...no cokes! Unfortunately, chocolate was a yes, but did I tell you I didn't have any cokes! That is my success for the week. I am going to try to add little goals ontop weekly, so my goal for the next 7 days is to be studying God's Word...not just reading, and honestly, I haven't been doing even that for a while. Time to get back on the wagon and get serious about my relationship with Him. So with that, I will say goodnight! Don't know if weight will be any lower tomorrow when I weigh in, but I know my sugar count has to be down. Yeah for me!

Erin, I hope you had a beautiful day and that you celebrated you. Hey, I know you had to make a stop at Starbucks, right? Happy Birthday my friend! I wish I could have been there to celebrate with you!

Michelle, welcome back! :) You know I had to get that in. Wow, a size 12! Is that still considered an adult, have had children, and over 30 woman's size? I haven't seen that since I was 12! Good for you. Who knows...no cokes, maybe I can get to be a size 12 too. :)

Here is to the three of us! The Best! I love you both!

Sam'

I am here...really

Well, even though it never feels like it, I am alive and well and just pooped to no end. Can I tell you all that I cannot wait until I move into this house of ours?!? That's an understatement! I just went back and read all the posts I have missed lately...around 7 of them. Speaking of clutter (in one of the more recent posts) I feel so completely out of sorts lately. I am disorganized, nothing feels clean, I have to clear off my bed to be able to get into it at night and am ever so grateful that Tim is gone for a week so that I don't have to feel guilty that the rooms we occupy aren't clean. I am too tired to be doing this, but like one of you said, I need it. Hope I don't write a novella here.

I listened to a great Midday Connection today. Every Wednesday they are doing a review on a Bible study they are doing together with other midday listeners called "A Woman of Moderation." I will send some points on it later, if I remember to, but I think I'd like to buy the study and do it myself...don't know if either of you have the time to add something like that to your schedules or not, but at least check out the podcasts. Sam, get Paul to set you up with itunes and then subscribe to Midday Connection and get these podcasts to listen to. SO MANY great points to not being a person of moderation, especially where food is concerned and this time they give credit to the Fulfiller of all voids. We obviously eat to fill a void (hunger, boredom, stress, emotions...). At times our void truly is hunger, but at other and most times, our void is Christ, or at least fulfillment in him. He satisfies our hunger...spiritually. We are not satisfied in Him...we eat or drink or whatever it is. So many principles we already know, but I guess that show really caught my attention and showed me that filling my mouth isn't filling any void. I need to have "prayer meals." Praying through the Psalms was an idea that one lady gave as how to combat the nibbles that we are doing even when we aren't hungry. Being fed that way instead of with food. Pray the craving away. I plan to listen to the podcast again and glean more from it. I listen while I am on the treadmill or the elyptical. If the scale in my brother's bathroom is correct, then I am at 194 or 195. What did I post when we began??? I don't remember except that it was over 200. I am going to fit the size 12 dress I bought for Ruthie's wedding if it kills me. Although, at this rate, perhaps it could be too big?!? Wishful thinking. I have been doing well with sweets and still drinking water primarily, but I still have to get a grip (freedom from) the chains of eating when I am not even hungry. I am trying to wait until I feel that hunger cue and eating then. It has been good since I have been so busy I often don't have time to eat. Now all I have to do is not allow myself to eat fastfood when I am out driving all day. That would be huge.

On a house note, we are all painted (except for my bedroom and bathroom as all my bedding is packed away and I have nothing to match paint to), my dad trimmed out doors today and the flooring is about halfway laid (the tile) so cabinets can come in soon. It is so close you guys. I can smell the carpet. Ok, I am falling asleep here. Goodnight!

OK, I didn't make it up this morning, and I won't tomorrow again if I don't get to bed.

Yeah, Erin!

You go girl! -5...I'll take that any day. I could so see little Jackson saying "are we going again?" That alone made me smile. Since I have become a more emotionally healthy adult, I have realized a lot about my favorite little word, "conditioning." I've decided that there has to be good conditioning as well. My kids are now asking for water because it "is the best thing" you can drink! Sometimes my little vessels of conviction will even ask me, "Mom, is this junk food?" I am looking at is as my own little support system right here at home. Maybe if our actions of getting healthy reflect back on their young hearts, they won't have a problem with this. I've always seen "generational sins" as the alcohol, drugs, etc. in my family. Never once did I see this food sin sneak up on our family. It, too, must stop with me...no more passing down.

Erin, I did see just a tid bit of Oprah yesterday. I have to make sure I'm not watching TV during that time of the day because that is when I do most of my mindless eating. I thought it was interesting too. Especially, as I sat around and saw all of the chaos piled on top of the 7 loads of unfolded clothes on my couch. I started looking around at those I know with messy houses, and they are all overweight. Well, with the exception of my dad, but that is a whole other story! Hmmm... it does make you think, doesn't it. So, with that being said, I need to go fold clothes. I am feeling better and I may be able to make it to 4 before pooping out. We are to have a date night tonight...taking the kids to Parent's Night Out at the church...but don't know what we are going to do. No, doubt that. :) Anyway...have a great day! It is to be in the 70s here for the next 5 days, so we hope to get out into some fresh air. Love you guys...thanks for blogging Erin...it helps me so much to read your thoughts. Oh Michelle....where are you? Miss your blogs...take 5 mins, you'll feel better. :) It's good for you!

Sam'

Success

I hear ya about trying to stay away from something you love, Sam. You know me and Starbucks. I am praying for you. It just isn't right for a "thing" to have such a hold on us. God created these things for our enjoyment, but the sin is in the abuse. I know you can do this, Sam. I am so proud of you!

Today I finally got the courage up to weigh myself before I worked out at the Y. I was 150.5! I was really surprised. 5.5 pounds lost! Now, this is the first time I have weighed myself on this particular scale, so I will be looking for additional decreases in the coming weeks; however, I will take it!

I am really sore from running on the treadmill tonight. My body is in shock mode from all this exercising. Jackson said, "We're going to the Y again?" as we were getting ready today. I said, "Yes we are." and I tried not to feel guilty as I said it. I said, "You know how you get to go to basketball practice and have a basketball game every week and Mommy watches you? Well, Mommy wants to be healthy and get exercise too." That seemed to make sense to him. I also felt better when I went to pick them up at the "FunZone". They were playing so well they didn't want to leave. Thank you, Lord!

Did you see Oprah today? This guy was on who wrote this book called Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? His point was that we get too much "stuff" in our lives for the same reason we "stuff" ourselves - we are trying to fill a void. Of course, there was no mention of the Ultimate Fullfiller, but he did make some good points. He said it is impossible to eat healthy in a kitchen that is chaotic. Interesting.

So - Michelle - where are you in blog world? Haven't seen you here lately. I know I saw you in passing today but its not the same as this little haven.

Sam, what did Paul think of your pictures?

Take care girls!

Coke, or No Coke?

Okay, this is my 2nd day of no colas and I am going through the same type of withdrawals as I did when I thought I could hit the no sugar ban wagon. I have come to realize that I am having to rearrange our schedules so I won't be inside at 2-4...come to find out....Dr. Phil is like Satan drawing me to the TV with food...any food in my hand! Sad thing is...I don't even really like Dr. Phil all that much. So, I am resolved to use this time with my kids. Once it gets warmer, I can stop off at the park on the way home...until then, I think we will come home and go for a ride or something. Might as well kill two birds with one stone. I did okay yesterday, ...had a nice breakfast, good lunch, and then it all went to pot around 3. Mindless eating. Yuck...now I know what they mean when they say you eat to fuel the body, not to just eat foods you THINK you like. Yeah, so on to the coke delemia...I can't tell you how many times I wanted to cheat today, and the only reason I haven't is that I would be cheating on God. Unfortunately, even realizing that took me some time. I had to just make me a large glass of green tea and leave it sitting for sipping later. So, if I call you in a panic, know that I am by myself and wanting to stop at my beloved Sonic for a coke with "the good ice." :) What a silly prayer request, but I need you to pray that I stand strong against the colas. There is a bible story for you...Sam and the Cola...yes, that is one of my giants. AH HA...think I will watch facing the giants again....a good little motivator.

Erin...good for you at the Y!!! Michelle, you keep on that treadmill!!! We all have goal dates...we can do this...we may have to pray ourselves away from the cokes, but we can do this! As the movie says, "give God our best, and leave the results up to Him." You know He wants to bless us. Stay strong!

Back on the saddle again...

That is what I wrote on my "Food Diary" today. The last entry was January 29 - so you can see that for several days I have not been careful about what I eat. Probably the number one reason is that I like to eat and I really don't like realizing what a true portion is.

Sam - I am sorry I deleted your email asking about the calories of something... What was that again? I'll look it up for you.

I really need this accountability too. These past few days I have once again been eating too many sweets and very quickly found myself in old bad habits. I need to do the picture thing too Sam. I am proud of you. You will not traumatize your son. He will be inspired by a mommy trying to take care of herself.

I have been starting my training schedule and done well with going to the Y this week. I'll write more later. Wish you could be with us in March, Sam, but good for you and the Ramsey thing. We are paying off my last student loan THIS MONTH!! We are very excited. Next hurdle - the camper. I love it now that the snowball is rollin'.

Just for me

Hey girls...sorry, no new revelation. Well, besides the one that I need to blog for me, and not for just something cute for you two to read. Allbeit, that is fine, but it isn't working for me. I have to get my butt in gear. Just got finished watching the biggest loser, and although no one in a normal life setting could lose weight like that in a real world, watching the show does motivate me. So, after I finished the show, I changed my clothes, and grabbed Caleb. He is always wanting to take pictures, so I let him have his debut. It sounds sick, but it really isn't. I just put on my workout gear and had him snap three pictures. He was so proud of himself, but I actually have to admit that I was rushing him through it in hopes that he isn't later traumatized by it later. My workout clothes are a lot like the ones on TV, so I think I'm safe. Lord, please let us be safe. Anyway, I took a long look at myself and am really surprised at how I look. Why is it we never seem to see ourselves as we really are? Anyway, pictures were printed out, taped on the inside of my personal bathroom closet, and then erased off the camera. I've had an extremely hard time staying motivated, so I'm hoping this will help. Tomorrow is the first day of lent, and although there is no Catholic relation, I think it is good for us to give up something for the Lord. So, here it is: I'm giving up all cokes. All cokes...light ones, dark ones, diet ones, decaffinated ones. Yes, this will need prayer. But seriously, why do we find it so hard to give up something so little for our Lord? Makes me really examine my relationship with Him. So, water it is! And an additional glass of green tea or two. Unsweetened and decaffinated as well. I've had a hard week this past week(s) and I am tired of postponing what is best for me. Why do I sabbatoge my own health? Why and how do I get to the point of where I just don't care. For the love of Pete, I am only 38, and those photos taken tonight make me look at least 10 years older. Erin, I don't think those cute jeans could even help me in these pictures. It showed how dehydrated my skin is, the horrible shape of my hands...not to mention the added beauty of my damaged nails and arthritic joints. These are all things that I should be taking pride in taking care of, and yet I don't. I've always said it is because I don't have enough time...well, let me get off my lazy a...pple and do something about it. I don't want to wait until I'm in the hospital, looking at my kids, wondering why I didn't do something about it when I could have. Okay, I'm off the soap box now, and feel better. No, I'm not beating myself up. Sometimes a nice, swift kick in the pants can do the trick. Kick girls, kick! I need this accountability. I need this tough love. I am asking you for it, so don't let me down. Do this for me. I love you guys!!!

Good notes: I saw Dr. Oz on Oprah today. (yeah, I sat on my sick hiney all day) He gave some good info on anti-aging stuff, so when you guys get time, check out her website.

Let's share some good note stuff! I'm checking this blog everyday...sometimes twice a day. Now, I am going to love on my house a little while I still feel like it, take my medicine, take a bath, do my nails, lather up in some vicks, and read. AHHHH! :)

Okay Michelle, this is for you. Although there were tears, your phone call did help this morning. And so, is why I am sending this new revelation...are you ready???? Here it is:

I am resolved to believe that the famous "Dr. Keigle" was 1) a man and 2) therefore, never carried twins. Is it not enough that my eyes are bloodshot, my nose is raw, and I have snot all over my 2nd tee shirt for the day? Oh no, ...the sneezes have hit, and bottom line....I have had to change panties 6 times in the last 12 hours!!! And of course, I don't have any pads ...no uterus, no pads! Well, now I know what my mother meant when she told us to apply the theory, "save for a rainy day!" And the only diaper in the house is the one on Keaton's baby doll. Maybe I could take that and some duct tape and taylor it to fit my baby fine hips. I don't dare go to WalMart with two sick girls, me croupy, and my free spirited bladder! People see us coming and grab their children as if they were running for the hills! :) Actually, I enbraced it today...coughed, sneezed, peed, and then laughed as I ran to the bathroom. Now, there is a vision for you. Have a good, dry one!!! :) Love you!

Erin, Hope you enjoyed my "inspiration" as well. Michelle and I were talking about the girls weekend coming up, but I will be unable to make it. I would love to, but it just isn't in the budget right now. Plus, with all that is going on with my dad, I just don't want to be away. I would love some time away with you guys....that is always good therapy for me! And cheap! But Paul and I are really wanting to take care of this debt thing. We are seeing some progress on the school loans, and it pumps us up to scrimp and save even more. I told Michelle, I would start working WalMart tonight if he would let me. I hope I stay that focused! We are also having car problems with both vehicles. Yeah, that is always fun...we DO NOT want car payments again, so we will do what we have to right now. Live like no one else now, to live like no one else later, right? Well, I was up a lot last night, and think I am going to catch a nap while the girls are watching a video. Although it is 70s here, it is gloomy, rainy, and down right yucky....the perfect couch day. Hope all is going well with you guys. I'll talk to you soon. Love you!

ohhhh....got to go.!!!

Sam'

New month...New germs

Hey guys...getting geared up to begin our new month...1 lb heavier than Jan. 1. What's up with that? Spent most of the day with Caleb at the doctor's office yesterday. He has been running that fever since Tuesday, but like I said before, no other symptoms. Well, envy girls, envy...I get the mom of the year award!!! My son not only has STREP, but has the FLU as well. Oh, and I have strep too. Well, I guess it is strep...I got the flu shot, but my throat gets so raw...mainly at night. Paul just got home from Houston yesterday and let me sleep until 11 this morning. I would get up every 2 or so hours and go to the bathroom, and then crash for the rest of 118 minutes! I got up, made lunch, went over finances, and ready to take a nap with the kids. The girls are holding their own for now, but we have med for them just incase. The doctor sounded pretty sure that they all 3 will have the flu before it's over. LOVELY! So, we have lots of soups, drinks, noodles, and hot chocolate to get us through another week. Paul leaves again on Monday and Niki's second week begins. I have to get someone to take her and sit with the kids since I will be out of pocket this week. I have met some characters in the chemo center. Wow...makes you really thankful to just be sick with strep. Anyway...I just haven't been talking alot, and so is why I haven't called. We are just laying low this weekend, and trying to get back up on my feet before Paul has to leave again.

I watched WGN News last night and saw where Chicago and NW IN got hit hard with snow these last couple of days. We began last week in the 30s and it is 70 right now. No wonder we are all sick. Erin, hang in there...and be on guard...Satan knows right when to attack...even when we don't. I'm proud of you for shoveling snow. Don't think that would have been on my list of to dos. :) Hug your families for me. Love you both!

Sam'

Oops.. I'm feelin' your tired, Sam!

Hey. I am sooo feeling your tired, Sam. I am praying for you that you are able to pace yourself and find the help you and Niki need in the days and weeks to come. What a challenge!

Michelle knows all of this, but just to update you, Sam. Do you remember the Eloe family from Bethel? Kent was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2006. Last week they found a new tumor and he had surgery this week. You can check out their inspirational website at www.eloefamily.com. Anyway, we had the privelage of caring for their youngest son, Nolan, from Monday evening until this morning. With that and helping my mom and dad clean out and prepare Grandma's house to sell on Wednesday, I'm exhausted too! We are going to visit Grandpa Vaughn tomorrow (the one with terminal cancer), so the exhaustion is expected to continue. All of these things are necessary, but they take a lot out of me. I anticipate tomorrow to be a day of entertaining the children in a non-child-friendly environment, so I have to gear up for it.

I started throwing myself a pity party today. We got - what do you think, Michelle? - maybe nine inches of snow overnight and this morning. So, I decided to make my workout for the day shoveling snow. Plus, I thought, what a nice surprise for Chris when he gets home - he won't have to worry about it. He can just hang out with the kids tonight - something he hasn't been able to do all week. So I started shoveling...

and this snow was really heavy! So I started getting really annoyed. And I began to pout and feel really sorry for myself. Thoughts such as...

Humph. All I do is work, work, work...
Chris better reaalllly thank me when he gets home!
All I do is work and I never get a thank you.
Or maybe I do get thanked, but never really acknowledged for all of my self sacrifice.
This snow is reaally heavy, I hope I don't throw my back out.
Now that I've started, I might as well finish. But I'm not doing the porch area.
Chris is going to have no idea just how difficult this job is when he sees I did it all. He'll have no idea how hard I worked. I am not going to be appreciated appropriately.
And other such pitiful thoughts...

When I finally woke up to the sin going on in my mind, I was about half way through the job. I mean, I pretty much had it worked out that no matter what Chris may or may not say about me shoveling snow, he was in trouble! Now how horrible is that? I went out with the right attitude, but something sure took over in my mind as I worked. Now I know this is not pleasing to the Lord. Psalm 100 says, "Serve the Lord with joy!" So I started praying, and pray for me too, because I cannot serve my husband or anyone else in a way that is pleasing if I do not have the right attitude. And then I got to thinking about that question on that email you sent, Sam. Do you think you are strong? And I think that might be the key. I am in my humanness utterly exhausted and spent. However, I need additional energy to keep the family atmosphere pleasant and to get through a hard visit tomorrow. I have to lean on HIM, because I haven't got it in me. I wish I would remember that at the beginning of the week, because I would probably be able to pace myself a little better with HIM constantly in my mind as my strength.

Sorry this has nothing to do with food. I'm about in your boat, Sam. I really did not pay a lot of attention to what I did or did not eat this week - which means I probably ate way to much. I'll regroup next week - I'm not giving up on this!

Love ya
Keep us posted.
Erin

I'm feelin