Tired

Hey girls...what a fast and furious couple of days. Blogging just to think, not to inform you of any great further revelations. :) Niki started chemo yesterday and started experiencing some side effects before I got her home. It is making her feel as if she has the flu, and she constantly has to fight fevers, headaches, and chills. Our plan with all of our little helpers got hit hard when all 3 of the "major helpers" for the first month, got sick, is getting sick, or has children with the flu right now. So of course, our plan has become this massive mark out of ink, written over, and marked out again. We have now had to add pick up children to our driver, sitter, and meal preparers. I'm doing all of this while Elaine, my friend from Nashville, is here. She came in Friday night to help with my kids for the beginning of this week. Most of her time here, I was on the phone changing plans, names, etc. Oh, and did I tell you that Paul is in Houston for the next 2 weeks. yeah, just breathe. So, all of that to say, I love you guys, I've stressed/company eaten, and am ready to start February at the same place I started January. :( Still off sleep medicine, and have only taken 3 Wellbutrin this month. I'm feeling the blues coming on, so I will be taking that again for the next couple of days and then see how Feb. goes. All in all, things are good...just tired. love you guys and hope to read from you soon.

Sam'

Walk Blameless!!!

Oh girls...we better be listening...it is not a coincidence that you two are experiencing this "what is God going to do through me" revelation. In August, God started pricking my heart about how he used just normal, everyday people to change lives, nations, generations. Of course Christmas came, and I once again was in awe at "little ol Mary." Well, since the first of the year...it has been like God is saying...little ol Samantha...now, don't get me wrong, I am in no way comparing myself to the mother of Jesus, but just hear me out.

We are currently studying Genesis in Sunday School...again, I was really touched about how Noah believed God, and only through that belief, was his family saved. Noah, just a normal guy...given the command by God to act anything but that. Do you think Noah was really thinking why God had chosen him? "What makes me so special? I'm just living my life, worshipping my God...no big deal." Long story short, I let that nudging subside only to find myself in this Beth Moore study of the Patriarchs: the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Well, once again, she brings to mention God bringing forth his commandments/covenants to the world through people just like us. I then had this little voice say..."people just like you, Samantha." Wow...is it even fathomable for us to think that God is writing history through us? Through our obedience and disobedience? Is our purpose here to be mommy to our wonderful children, or could God be wanting to do BIG, BIG things through us? Whatever it may be, you guys have to admit that it is more than just strange for all 3 of us to be getting revelations like this. Michelle, I know you "know" all of the right answers, and I think it is more than okay to ask ourselves that from time to time...do I really know? Remember, salvation comes from hearing the Word, Accepting the Word, and Believing the Word. It is that process of faith that makes it so easy, and yet it is that same process that Satan trips us up on. "It is written in the Scriptures, that you MAY KNOW." Praise God that you have had a tug! If it isn't right, I have faith in you that you will know it, and that if you realize you don't have it, that you will do what you know to do to make it right. Say that three times. I personally don't think that if you weren't truly saved, you wouldn't be struggling with this. That is the last thing Satan wants you to do...to start thinking about it. He does, however, wants us to worry about it. The more we worry about it, the less faith we have to believe it. And if I recall correctly, you and I were having this same discussion on my couch, both bellies poking straight out, and you were counseling me! Bottom line...you believe Jesus died for your sins, and was raised to live again to make our way to the Father. Now, the question remains, what is God trying to do through each of us? Is it too much to wonder that? Could he possibly be wanting to change our lives, generations and nations through the three of us? Scary, isn't it? Just something to ponder. Here are just a few things that screamed at me this week through my study:

*God called Abram out of the land of UR. Our UR could equal Usual Routine. "When He tells you to leave one place as He told Abram, He has another place for us to go.

*God may not reveal the destination for a while, but we can rest assured we're never called out without being called to!

*All God told Abram about his ultimate destination was that He would show it to him. It was as if He were saying, "The only way you're going to find it is to walk with Me. When we get close, I'll show it to you."

*What is our UR? Our usual routine? God calls us to leave our familiar spiritual countryside-our ruts, our comfort zones, and every hint of mediocrity-and "go" to a place He will show us. Let's go the distance.

*We can be sure the people of God to whom promises come will be tested. ***LISTEN UP, MICHELLE...THIS ONE IS FOR YOU.... For God to strengthen our faith, He must allow us to find cause to doubt. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The weakness of God's children do not strain the strength of God.

After reading the week's chapters in Genesis, I paraphrased Gen. 17:1... God told Abram to do one thing...put your name in there instead of Abrams..."________________, I am Almighty God, walk before me and be blameless." I actually printed it out and have it a couple of places in the house. Helps me keep some perspective...hope it helps you guys

Let me know if this is striking you girls like it did me. Coincidence? I think not. Smile and know our pictures are on God's refrigerator!




Love you two!

Sam'


FYI...Niki begins chemo on Monday...I will be driving her on Monday and Fridays, so I will not be home from about 9:30 a.m. - 11:30. After her first 4 weeks are done, I will just be taking her on Mondays.

Michelle...thanks for sharing...that is what sisters do. Erin...anything you can get on Weight Watchers without violating copyright stuff will be great. Hey, I'll get whatever I can.


Love you guys!

Jesus = Our Knight in Shining Armor & POINTS

Well, Michelle, you are right, we all struggle. And, although I'm sorry that you are experiencing these questions, it is refreshing to know that you (someone I admire as strong, hard-working and diligent to teach your children God's ways) struggle and I love how open you are with it.

I know you know this verse, but remember that the Bible says:

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:11-13

You know how Pastor Steve has talked about the different events and warnings God puts in the path of a Christian in order to ensure that she finishes the "race"? Maybe this is the Holy Spirit giving you a warning nudge. Prayer, fasting and meditating on God's Word might make all this clearer for you. Maybe God has some big stuff in store for you and He's wanting you to get ready!! I have soooo felt that in my heart this past year for myself and my own family. Take courage, dear friend. I am excited to see what God's going to do! Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

I also love how Pastor Steve was talking last week about how we are a part of a story. (Yes, my English Lit background gets me juiced about that idea). You are right, if we aren't on board with God's story, our lives can feel very meaningless. But when I think about how we can have an exciting role in God's story through whatever means we are called, I get sooo pumped up! My role right now as a mother is where God has me and I pray that He helps me nurture and mold these kids into a warrior and princesses for Him! I love that idea and reminding myself of it in the midst of a chaotic day gets me through. The days I forget my main goal are tough days. I think that is why it really is important (ahem, are you listening, ERIN) to be in the Word!

As far as Weight Watchers - I have the point guide so if you let me know the calories, grams of fiber and grams of fat per serving I can quickly tell you how many points a particular food has.

I'll give you some of the info on the points system that my book has. (It is copyright 2002, I think the program has changed slightly since then, but I am sure it is similar).

Daily Points Range

1. Current Weight 150-174 pounds: Daily Points Range 20-25
2. 175-199 pounds: Daily Points Range 22-27
3. 200-224 pounds: Daily Points Range 24-29

Some tips from the guide:

1. "Be sure you always use at least the minimum number of Points in your Range. That way you're sure to get enough food to keep your metabolism fueled while losing weight at a safe rate.
2. Periodically, check to see if your Daily Points Range has changed. Why? As you lose weight, your body needs fewer Points.
3. You can save Points, too! Points not used one day can be 'banked' for another... Calculate the number of Points you used for the day. Subtract that number from the top of your Daily Points Range and add that amount to your 'bank'. 'Banked' Points can come in handy to use for special occasions or for those times when you simply don't have enough Points in your Daily Points Range to get through the day. Limit yourself to using no more than 10 'banked' Points per day. 'Banked' Points should be used in the week they are earned." (7)

Finally, here is a recipe that is actually really good for Garden Vegetable Soup. It makes 4 servings (about 1 cup each), and has 0 points per serving!

2/3 cup sliced carrot

1/2 cup diced onion

2 garlic cloves, minced

3 cups fat-free broth (beef, chicken or vegetable)

1 1/2 cups diced green cabbage

1/2 cup green beans

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1/2 teaspoon dried basil

1/4 teaspoon dried oregano

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup diced zucchini

1. In large saucepan, sprayed with nonstick cooking spray, saute the carrot, onion and garlic over low heat until softened, about 5 minutes.
2. Add broth, cabbage, beans, tomato paste, basil, oregano, and salt; bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer, covered, about 15 minutes or unil beans are tender.
3. Stire in zucchini and heat 3-4 minutes. Serve hot.

Okay, now someone better try this recipe because my fingers hurt from typing it!!

Later,

Erin

P.S. Let me know if you want more WW info, and I will add more stuff next time.

Hmmm...are you ready for this?

Well, I will have to be honest and say that though the sweets aren't a problem for me (even on this trip the only sweets I had was this creme bruele french toast for breakfast...boy was that good!) I have got to do that whole portion control thing too! I wish I could find all my weight watchers stuff. I did that just before Tim and I got married. It was nice, especially once I memorized all the point values. Well, maybe you could post some stuff or copy it or something. I'd love to get on something like that. I have a wedding to be in and even though I am exercising and drinking my water, nothing is changing so far. I have to order this dress and after seeing myself in pictures from the Dells, I do not want to order a dress to fit me now...and I can't guess what I will be. Oh for pete's sake.

Speaking of letting God down...I know we all do, but I am starting to see the effects of not communing with Him. Not that what I do will ever make Him happy, but I am starting (out of the clear blue) to feel sad (instead of guilty) about not spending time with God. Not growing. Not teaching well. Not being capable of it. Feeling like life is pointless if all I am going to do is exist day in and day out with the same mundane tasks that I barely perform. This is a week where I seriously question my salvation...where I wonder if my motives all along have just been selfish...if they have been self-seeking...if I just do things for appearances sake. I like the attention of people when they think I can do it all, though I know I can't. Do you guys go through stages like this? I do. And the funny thing is that I don't want to be so arrogant and prideful that I wouldn't even consider the fact that I could not be saved...am I making sense? That's hard to do through writing...maybe you all know what I mean. This all started last night when out of the blue I start thinking about ETERNITY and existing outside the confines of time and how I can't fathom that and it always gives me that tight, hot feeling in my chest...anxiety or fear??? So that got me thinking why I am always so fearful of that and 2 reasons came to my head. Is it God trying to get me to realize the meaning of eternal so that I kick my relationship with Linda into a higher gear, or is He trying to tell me that I have been faking it all my "Christian" life and I need to admit I need to be saved so that I spend eternity with Him?!? Did you expect anything this heavy? I didn't expect to go through this. Why after all this time am I thinking this way and constantly, at that? Any personal insights ladies? Experiences? Ok, I did get the strong feeling that I need to know the Bible better...know the stories, the people, the places, the timeline. I assume that is the Holy Spirit talking to me. That makes me feel better. I cannot keep gliding through life like I have been, wanting to do my own things all the time.

I just used our food blog to air out my laundry. I trust you two. I fully expect honesty in any replies, nothing to make me feel good if it isn't truth...you know?!?

It's bed time. I need to get sleep so I can get up early, even though I know I am not going to want to! Please pray for me in many areas of life right now. I am lazy and self-centered and arrogant and such a Pharisee at times...I hate it! Such the life with sin, right?

Back Again!

Hi Ladies. Sorry I've not posted as of late. It has been a little busy with Grandma stuff and kid-watching! Grandma's memorial service was really neat. I was excited to be a part of it (I spoke and blubbered in front of everyone, but that's okay!).

Sam - we all have bad days! I am thankful that we are learning to identify bad days for what they are and confess them right away. That is freedom! Today is a new day for us all and today we can be the women God wants us to be!

I still haven't purchased a scale, but I am quite certain I have not lost one single pound during these past three weeks. I believe that I have just replaced the calories from all that sugar and I have found other things to eat instead. While they may be slightly healthier, I am still having an issue with portion control and mindless eating. Therefore, I have revised my goal to align with the Weight Watchers idea. I have a bunch of stuff on their point system from when my dad did it several years ago and so I have decided to write down and record every single thing I put in my mouth. In addition, I am going to keep track of the points. I started doing this yesterday. I would like to continue my Food Diary through February. I believe that if I do this, I will be more successful at understanding portion control and what an actual portion should be. I also believe that I should drop AT LEAST five pounds (get under 150 pounds) by doing this.

The great news is that Chris has given us the okay to join the YMCA again. And HE is going to join too! I am really excited because I know how much he needs the exercise (mentally and physically). Please pray that I don't nag him but that I can be a huge encourager for him. The kids will be able to take swim lessons again and I will now be able to schedule some workouts during the day. Hooray, this homeschool mom will get an occasional BREAK!! I have not been running AT ALL because it has been so cold and I can't drag myself out of bed - so this should also help toward my end-of-February goal. As you can see, I am very excited, so pray that we utilize it well. Chris said this will be a 3 months trial to see how it goes and then we'll reevaluate.

Back to the idea of tracking everything I put in my mouth. Today the kids had leftover pizza (at 5 points per piece, I went for something else). There was quite a lot of decent looking scraps they left on their plates that usually I would eat. Today, their leftovers went in the trash (sorry starving kids is Africa). The kids were full and I did not want the extra calories. Even these past three weeks I have been doing that kind of mindless eating - I mean, it wasn't sugar! But that doesn't mean it won't keep me fat!

I found a Progresso canned soup that is 0 points. So yesterday, I ate half a can of that with my lunch. Lots of veggies to fill me up, but not a lot of calories to weigh me down.

Hope you two are doing well today. God bless!

PMSing?

Okay guys, I need some help. Today was not a good eating day. I kept Niki's three kids and although it went really well (I mean so much better than what I was expecting) I felt like I ate all day. Reviewing my day reveals lots of snacking...all flying under the radar until I have this sick, over-bloated feeling that recalls all of the "little bites" throughout my day. Ah...no wonder I feel sick...a piece of bread, a piece of pizza, chicken bites, fruit, ...yuck! Help me, ...I guess I could blame it on my period, ...if I had one,...and if I wasn't happy, ....and if we didn't have great sex this weekend. (was that out loud?) Anyway...please pray for me...I know I disappointed God today. Maybe that is that sickening feeling in my stomach, and not just the overload. My eating today could have fed a small village in Africa. :( Sorry guys. Sorry God.

Power to the People!

Well, I just got back from the Patriarchs, Beth Moore bible study! Wow, if that doesn't inspire one! Hope you guys are doing well. I'm hanging in there...wearing my little ankle weights all day, doing leg lifts while cooking, and squeezing my butt anytime I can. :) Hey, I've realized that I can't always get up at 5 and be done exercising before speeding everyone around to leave for school. So I am trying to get what I can where I can until something else pans out. We will hopefully get the pool up in a couple of months and then I can do water aerobics. I've talked to some trainers who have told me to forget the gym membership because of my knee problems...not much left to do if you can't lunge, squat, run or jump. Only thing that is left is arm weights, and I already have those here. I may try my free Curves (for 2 weeks) and see how that helps on the jump start. I could so kick myself now...I always wanted to run a marathon...now that Dr.s say I can't, that stinks. You know, it always stinks when someone else takes that power from you. But bottom line, I took that power away from myself. Now I know my knee problems aren't due to just extra weight, but looking back now, I could have done so much to maybe prevent where I am today. We have that kind of power...power to take care of our bodies so they can take care of us longer. Power that stares Satan and screams, "MY GOD CAN DO ANYTHING, AND WITH HIM ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!" I'm striving to have that kind of power today. Let's pray ourselves through! Let's power up!

This one's for you, Grandma GG

Hi ya girls. Confession time: I had a Starbucks Grande Iced Raspberry Mocha Skim with whip AND a brownie on my way to my parent's house Friday night. It was all in tribute to Grandma - I inherited my sweet tooth from her. So, that was going to be it - my sugar for the weekend. But then I failed. My aunt brought over peanut butter chocolate brownies. My grandma LOVED peanut butter/chocolate anything. When I lived in Colorado and she would come to visit, we would go to a restaurant called Shari's and we both would get the chocolate peanut butter pie. It was our "thing". So, despite my best efforts to ingnore the pan all day Saturday, I caved and had about 1 1/2 regular size pieces or one really big piece, whichever way you want to look at it. So, anything I lost in the last couple weeks was probably put right back on. I will be purchasing a scale tomorrow so that I can regulate that better.

I was talking to Chris about how I was disappointed in myself for eating all of that. He said, "Well, I want to enjoy life." And when he said that, it hit me. I want to enjoy life too. I don't want to get bogged down with this stuff. At the same time I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH FOOD. There, I said it. So for someone who doesn't have that particular problem (Chris likes to eat, don't get me wrong, but it isn't an obsession for him like it is for me), they may not understand. So I explained to him that it would be the same as telling an alcoholic, "Go ahead, enjoy life, have as much as you want to drink." When I told Chris that, I think he realized how serious of an issue I feel that this is for me. But isn't it so true? I want to be to the point where a stressful situation comes up and I don't immediately gravitate toward sugar and chocolate. But obviously I have not arrived yet by a long shot!!

So my sweet husband finally kind of "gets it". We got Chinese take out for supper last night and I (not even thinking about it) started to unwrap one of the fortune cookies for myself. He said, "Ummm, does that count as sugar?" I said, "Oh, yeah - thanks."

As for Grandma GG - well, she was sweet and had lots of spunk in her and I am so thankful that she didn't suffer. She's in heaven - she's with Grandpa. She always liked to tell me, "I'm a lifetime member of Weight Watchers." She was very proud of this. So Grandma, I hope to enjoy sweets in moderation someday and when I do, I'll think of you!

Me? A Preacher???

Well, today was a Sunday that I felt I got a lot out of...not the message today, though that was good, but I think I learned more from the music and fellowship before the service that had me thinking and, in essence, preaching to myself. I can be a rather black and white, "this way is the only way to do it" kind of person (you're all shocked, I know) and I learned a little about myself this morning...something that I don't really like, though it comes from a good and loving heart. I learned that the ministries that people do in their lives aren't always known, even when they are good friends and that not everyone needs to know what everyone else is doing. I form opinions about others and am finding out that things have a little more to them than what they seem on the outside. It's just not always necessary for people to tell me what the are up to. I know that sounds cryptic and even silly...painfully obvious, but not everything is obvious to me, even at my "mature" age. Regardless if any of that makes sense to you, I had a good sermon this morning in my own head and heart!

Besides that, I am learning to believe whole heartedly that we have it good. We as a people, we as a family, whatever...we have it good. I know that the "calamities" that I have (house) are so not "the main thing" and their importance pales in comparison to spiritual struggles and the importance of fixing those. How easy it is to be side-tracked by the insignificant things in life, including food and weight, but knowing that these are things that can be helped when we submit all areas of our life to Christ...it's harder to look at it that way, you know?

I haven't weighed in today yet, and now I don't yet want to because we just ate and it would be totally wrong. The only problem is that I think I weigh less in the morning than at night, so naturally I want to use that number!!! I still need to measure. Maybe I'll do that at your house Erin...I saw the tape measure there but never got around to using it.

At any rate, I need to go take a nap. I hope you all have a great Sunday, and a great week three. I hope this is working, but either way, I am enjoying learning about my dependence/abuse of food!!!

Greetings from Pouty!

WooWoo...lost 3 lbs this week. I was just happy to see something happening! Made me smile, and I actually enjoyed a little cobbler after lunch today with a smile on my face. If this isn't teaching me anything else, it is teaching me that I can still enjoy some treats, and still be rather healthy. But I have to make a confession...I was mad these last couple of days. ABOUT FOOD. Oh, for the love of God. Food?! How ridiculous is that? I'm so embarrassed to say that, but it had me pouting and pointing fingers at everyone and everything. Not only was I mad about not having anything in the house that would fill that urge, but I was mad at the fact we are right on target with our budget for groceries, etc. Since we have been doing the Ramsey thing, if we got to where we needed (i.e. wanted) something, we would just transfer cash from one envelope to another. This month was a little strange just because we came back from vacation and had absolutely nothing in the house to begin Jan with, and with some of the extra stuff we did while we were away, we were shorter on actual cash flow than what was expected. Don't get me wrong, God provides for us just fine, ...we were just trying to come home with a couple hundred dollars in our pockets. We did have money left over from traveling, but just not what we had hoped for. Anyway, we are trying really hard not to envelope hop...it is more of "let's see if we can do this," instead of not having anything. All of that to say, I didn't want my spaghetti today, I wanted to eat out! But, $6.00 wasn't going to buy my lunch, and quite honestly, I didn't want to share with anyone either! :) We get a new budget on Tuesday, and half of me is still unhappy(although pleasantly full) and then half of me is saying, "only 2 more days until our goal is met!" Okay, is there a child in the room? Really? I never realized my addiction to food had so many "subcategories" under it. So, that is my confession...I was mad because I couldn't eat what I wanted to eat...as simple as that. Boy, I have a lot of work to do. Don't like that part of me! You know they say 30s is all about finding the true you. Well, I'm almost 40 and can I find someone else, please? Arrrgh!

Michelle, oh how I remember the building phase of this house. I honestly don't know if our marriage could hold up to another building. Do you remember the problem we had with our brick? Remember that we HAD to build because there were no houses(trailers, hotels, barns) available to live in after Hurricane Rita hit....we moved here 2 weeks later. We finally got our brick delivered and by the time I came to check on it, they had bricked 1/2 of the house...in the wrong brick!!! I wasn't a happy camper...I had lived with my mom long enough, and by that time, I just wanted to get in. Bottom line...brick is brick, stone is stone...you can be mad as long as things are kept in perspective. Y'all remind me of that! Hello! Kettle, this is pot! You will have a beautiful home when it is completed, and no matter what, you will get what God wants you to have. He may really like the color of stone that is up? ummmm....something to think about. :)

Erin, I have prayed for you guys! My codependency issue frets over not being able to fly up and help you with something. Wish I could be there to give you a hug--know that I am doing so from here. Call me if you need to talk. Try to keep focus in it all...I know it will be hard, but I know you can do it. You are one of the strongest people I know!!!

I'm really missing you guys, but am so glad that we are doing this together. Even when I don't have time to blog at that very moment, I enjoy checking to see if either of you have made an entry.. What fun.

Goals for the week? You have one? Some? My goal is to get exercising again...someway, somehow. I'm going to a Knee Arthritis Seminar on Wednesday, so I am hoping to get some good information from there. I'm starting to feel like I can do this no carbonation thing. I've done it before, but boy, does a can of COKE look good right now...my own little Densel Washington! :) Hope you got that. Okay, I am full, tired and it is Sunday...I need no other excuse to go take a nap! Have a great day. Love you guys!

Feeling Rather "Red" Tonight

Well, do you guys ever have one of those days that you just firmly believe that the world is just made up of incompetent people? Tonight was one such night. This would ordinarily be a night where I'd eat to feel better, but alas, I didn't give in (rather, Tim didn't). We found the floor tile that we like at Menards, but as all things right now seem to be for us, the tile is discontinued. We searched and called around to find another Menards that carries it and found one in Homer Glen, an hour away. I called, talked with Cindy (couldn't tell whether she was a she or a he) and she said they had 20 boxes of it in overstock, and several more boxes on the floor. I ordered it, paid for it all and the order was faxed to them. Tonight, Tim and I cook dinner for everyone, eat, get the kids ready for bed, borrow my brother's truck and drive out to Homer Glen. I get there and the guy goes to get the tile and upon further review of the tile, finds that it isn't the tile we are looking for and proceeds to tell me that they don't have any of the other tile to give us. What in the world is the point of calling ahead to verify, if they verify wrong? I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I know better than to send someone driving for the wrong tile! Seriously. What is God [trying] to teach me here? I get this a lot from people. The stone on our house, though it looks really nice and they did a great job, is the wrong color. It is too dark and now it has to be corrected somehow because I think it looks bad. I'm all ears here dying to learn something about myself or something here to make all these calamities worth while, but I'm not getting it. ARGH!

Well, this is a momentous occasion...tomorrow morning, for the first time in over 6 years, Tim will be going with us to church, YIPPEE!!!!! Now, watch, we will be late because he is going to throw off my routine.

That is just a little of our good news along with the bad and ugly. I am glad to hear about your book, Sam, and would love a copy when all is said and done!!! What a cool opportunity and perhaps an unseen direction for your talent to go! We should collaborate together, the three of us, and write a book and have you illustrate it. How fun would that be?

As for you, Erin, I pray that your visit with your family went well, after all was said and done. Blessings come under the guise of many things...perhaps this is one of them.

As for a bit of encouragement, I'm not sure if I have much except to say that no matter how bad, mad or sad we feel, no amount of eating (chocolate, shakes or powdered donuts) is worth the disappointment we have in ourselves after the fact. That pleasure is fleeting. What sticks around is the feeling of knowing that we are more pleasing to God when not giving in to gluttony, we are more pleasing to our family by being able to present ourselves healthy to them (ie, being in shape to play with them), wholly committed to good habits for us and for them, and more pleasing to our husbands who, in the end, really just want us around for the long haul.

I have resorted to rambling...that is a bad thing. I will let you all go and just leave off by saying, we are beautiful women, to each other, to our husbands, but most importantly, to God. His opinion of us far out ranks everyone else's, especially our own, and He loves us even when we have eaten the whole can of frosting, He would just rather we talk to Him instead of taking matters in our own hands, vainly trying to feel better. Goodnight!

Keep it up!

Excited for you, Sam. Can't wait to hear more on the book. Sooo cool.

I hear ya about waking up early and then being sooo tired out for other things throughout the day. I say, we have to be realistic about what our bodies can do. We need sleep and rest just as much as we need the exercise and good nutrition and time with God. I have my alarm set for 5:30a.m. but if I don't get to bed at a good time, it isn't realistic to say I will be able to get up at that time. I do sometimes, but on the days I don't, I try to do what I can in the time I have. Even if it means I only get a mini 15 minute workout in - that's better than nothing, right? And if I only have 5 minutes to read the Bible - I say better than not opening it at all. That said, I still am striving to make it to bed early enough to get up at that time. I find that on days that I have "me time" in the morning things go sooo much smoother. Unlike today when I woke up late and was lazily enjoying a bowl of cereal with the kids. Only to look at the clock - "8 a.m." Light bulb! Makenna has a doctor appointment at 8:15!! We made it there by 8:20 but it wasn't pretty.

Success for today - I had some time to run errands (thanks, Michelle) and I was craving something. I went for a DD coffee with cream and Splenda rather than the milk shake I reeeeallly wanted. That was tough - I kept telling myself I really deserved it! But I also deserve to be healthier and I also deserve to reach the goals I have set for myself.

Later ladies...

OH NO!

Yeah, not so good today. I think I hit Monday and Tuesday too hard with the workouts and was extremely sore yesterday. That was all fine until the knees and back went from sore to HURT...I mean rub me down in Ben Gay hurt and take two Tylenol hurt. So, I thought I would just use my yesterday as my off day. This morning I wake to being so tired I could hardly keep my eyes opened while driving Caleb to school. And you know me...I don't get like that often. I needed to wake to sunshine, but OH NO, it is cloudy, gloomy, stay on the couch type of weather. The girls are actually napping today, and they normally don't nap that much anymore. You know Paul and I have given up donuts and french fries for the whole year. Sad to say that on the 10th day of the year, I am already tempted to stop at the 7/11 and get a little six pack of Satan covered in powered sugar! I didn't cave, but I had to actually quote scripture to get me passed the store! Yeah, you think I got a problem? I am now getting ready to wake the girls, pick up Caleb, and then go to my dad's to clean some of his house. It would actually take me a good week to get it clean, but I am going to start with just the hours I have available tonight. I think me helping him do that will speak love to him. Just trying to minister to him anyway I can. Then tonight we are keeping a friend's one-yr-old over night due to the mom having surgery in the morning. So, we will have an extra one for the next couple of days. That should keep me away from the kitchen. Good thing is, all of the junk is getting depleted and so there are only good snacks left to nibble on. All of that to say, I need your help to get back on the wagon! Have a great day. Love you two.

Well, just got a message from a referral from Dr. Sales' office...wanting to talk to me about illustrating a children's book she wrote! Now, that will put a little spring in your step.! More later!

Tough Day

I wasn't really grumpy, but tired and I can definitely tell that although I haven't been as good as both of you (I admit that I have cheated quite a bit) I am now entering into withdrawal phase. As I said yesterday, it is like I get a craving for something, and yet do not know for what. After process of elimination(unfortunately) I am truly realizing that my body is looking for sugar...in anything. The process normally works like this...hmmm....need a little snack...maybe these carrots and after eating realize that's not it. Crackers? Not it either. Skim string cheese? Nope...and before I know it, I am no longer needing a snack, but rather someone to slap my across the phase and yell, "For the love of God woman, get ahold of yourself!" I go into robot mode and feel like I'm going to explode if I can't find whatever I may be looking for. Hmmm....Erin, do you think the Great Pumpkin episode was just that I was w/d? Okay, well at least it was funny. I was not as motivated as I was yesterday. Isn't that sad-one great day, and then I'm pooped. Paul had to go in early, so he didn't get to go to the gym. I got up, got him off to work, did my Healthy Heart Bible Study and crawled back into bed and slept until 7:15! I was busy all day with housework, but just not motivated. After dinner tonight I watched the Biggest Loser and decided I was going to do my workout after it was over, and I did! Paul poop-pooped the idea of working out with me and went to bed, claiming he is getting up early to go to the gym. But that was okay, I did it anyway. I am definitely sore, so I know yesterday did some good. So that is my success for today. That and that I drank 80 oz. of water! I'll be up all night peeing, but hey...letting those toxins rid my body. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.

Brain Fog

I don't feel chatty tonight. I feel grumpy and I'm not sure why. I thought if I started typing I might pinpoint it. I think I am tired and I need to go to bed. I'm doing pretty good not eating sweets but I'm not sure if I'm replacing those calories with larger portions at meal times. I think I used to not eat much at meal times if I had eaten a lot of junk throughout the day. However, as you said Sam, Baby Steps. Lots of water and no sweets but 1x per week is my January goal. That combined with exercising when I can is an attainable goal. Maybe come February I will tweak the rest of my eating habits. I really would like to do this in baby steps so that it becomes so ingrained that I don't have to obsess about it. However, I have years and years of building up poor eating habits, so I can't expect anything but a slow regaining of what I should be doing!

I like that verse you put on your refrigerator, Sam. I think I'll "coffee" (that's what my kids say when they mean copy) you and do the same. Good for Paul - sounds like he's on board with you!

Have either of you ever heard of the flylady? She has a website with house maintenance tips. Anyway, she suggests that you do this every Monday:

WEEKLY HOME BLESSING HOUR! THIS FEELS SO GOOD!
Monday January 7, 2008 8:00 am - 9:00 am(This event repeats every week.)
Notes:Make this into your interval workout today! Put on some fun music and FLY around Blessing your home! The Weekly Home Blessing hour is the time FlyLady spends blessing her home. No detailed cleaning required; vacuum the middle of the floors only!FlyLady sets her timer for 10 minutes to work on each of 7 ways to bless your home:
Vacuum
Dust
Mop
Polish Mirrors and Doors
Purge magazines
Change Sheets
Empty all trash
This takes approximately one hour; some tasks take less than 10 minutes."Don't obsess, set your timer for 10 minutes for each task, then QUIT!" You can do one blessing in the morning and one at night if you work outside your home or you have a busy schedule. Blessing your home feels so good!

I thought that kind of fit into the "housework = workout" idea. So I sucked in my stomach when I mopped my floor - I like the idea of killing two birds with one stone! (Not that I've actually done all the ideas listed - Polish doors?? hasn't quite happened yet - but it is something to shoot for!!)

See now, I knew you two would put me in a better mood. Thanks for listening. Now, I'll pray and thank God for friends, and go to bed. Night night.

What's in a goal???

Well, I started my day off late...not a good thing. I have got to get to bed earlier!!! No quiet time...what else is new? I took Elijah to school with all the kids excluding Micah and then I went to the gym. I finally got to the gym.

That is one of my goals. To go to the gym 3 times a week. While I am there I podcast Bethel and Moody, so I listen to a sermon or something while I do the eliptical. I am thinking about getting scripture on cd and downloading that.

Another goal is to be able to eat sweets casually. Know when enough is enough and not to eat like I will never get the chance again.

Then there is to drop at least 2 sizes by the wedding, which I think is now set for Eden's birthday (it was the day after Elijah's and had to be moved to the day of Eden's...not sure why that bothers me, but it does. Should it?)

I'd also like to have a consistent (not necessarily daily) quiet time and start growing more. I have been stagnant for too long. I haven't been in the Word since kinship girl's Bible study. Erin knows how long ago that has been. More than 6 months???

Absurd goal...to have to alter my size 12 dress down to a 10. That would be all 5 kids' baby weight gone.

Ok, my mom wants to play games tonight and though it is already late, we think we are going to do so...here goes.

Reality meets Truth

Hey guys...by the end of the week I only lost a pound. (darn water weight) But better than gaining. We have a young pastor at our church who has lost 90 pounds since March, and he gave his "how I did it" story last night at church. Bottom line...healthy eating and exercise. I actually pulled some things from it and was actually "okay, good for Erich" when he said, "James 4:17 says if a person knows good and does not do it, it is sin." Then he went into how our bodies were created and what it means to be a living sacrifice. Ouch, that one hurt. So, this morning I saw new mercies and got up at 5. By 5:45, I had already had my quiet time and was working out. Success: I made it through the Firm's Cardio Sculpt for the full 60 minutes. It has been over a year since I put that tape in...and I could tell it. I crindged every time I heard and felt my knees scraping over themselves, and I was very careful about form and intensity. I actually ate pretty healthy today, but it seemed like I was eating all the time. That is the one aspect about eating healthy...your mind is constantly on what should I eat? Is this good for me? Is this a smart choice? ...I get so bogged down with all of the calorie counting that I forget that it isn't about the food, but about God. My goal is to get to where I don't worry if the chicken sandwich is loaded with calories, but rather one of God would be happy with my decision no mater what I was eating. hmmm....think on that one.

Erich gave some good one liners that I thought I would share:

*Start with small changes*Plan what you eat*Plan when you exercise*Learn discipline...look in the mirrow at yourself everyday and become accountable to the person looking back*More changes mean MORE changes*Try losing 1 pound/wk for the first month*Exercise 20 mins every day*Be intentional*Learn how to be guiltlessly full*"Results are up to me"*I deserve to look and feel good*Reeses Blizzard have 950 calories ...in a medium*Take care of the temple because that is one major way we show God we care about what HE created.* He recommends the book "the 2 degrees difference"*

Yeah, fun night. So, at 5 a.m, Paul and I both got out of bed and began our day the right way. I am doing "Total Heart Health for Women" workbook by Dr. Ed & Jo Beth Young...not just a diet plan, but shows how to care for yourself with Spiritual Energy In (daily Bible reading with questions), Spiritual Energy Out (a worship exercise with a prayer focus) and then a diet plan. I haven't really followed the diet yet, but love the spiritual energy aspect of it. Here are two nuggets for you guys to think/ponder on:

*God wants ALL of me to be holy. Every part of me should show evidence that I AM set apart for God*

*Worshiping the true God revealed in the Bible leads to a healthy lifestyle.

Words of wisdom, wouldn't you say? Well, I am now going to go measure myself. I think I am also going to take photos of myself, print them out to hang on the inner face of my personal linen closet in my bathroom, and then destroy/delete/blow-up/set fire to any evidence.Talking about a negative motivator, but it just may work! I'm really happy with my day, even though I was focused on the food all day. Baby steps, baby steps. Paul printed out the scripture in James for us and put it on our fridge:

"SO, FOR THE PERSON WHO KNOWS TO DO GOOD, AND DOESN'T DO IT, IT IS SIN."

Here is my information: As of January 7, 2008: 204lbs
Daily Goal: to have quiet time in the morning and do at least 30 minutes of exercise
Monthly Goal: to lose 10lbs by January 31st.
Bigger Goal: to lose 50lbs by Memorial Day, May 26th
Ultimate Goal: to wear a size 12 (I'd love to be a 9, but I am still a mom, and just don't know if these hips could ever see high school sizes again.). If I could hit this ultimate goal, I really don't care how much I weigh.Wouldn't that be nice.

Okay, I want to hear your goals...attainable, reachable goals...may take some work goals. If I'm going to dream...might as well dream big."Dream Big" by the Martins...great song. Oh, and I think I am going to watch Facing the Giants again just to get a boost of motivation. Bad acting, but I love that movie. Oh well...do I really talk this much when I am actually talking? Poor friends. :) Tune in tomorrow for the continuation of the Sammi Saga.


We know what is good for us...for His creation. Onward girls, onward.

It's Afternoon Again...

Success: I've made it past my "rough" time of day without cheating. I've looked at chocolate the kids got from their Great Grandma yesterday and LOOKED AWAY. This is so huge for me. My typical response - chocolate in house = Erin eats it. The kids might actually get to enjoy their own gift this time.

Technically speaking...

Well, it's one thing for me to drop my precious sweets...that hasn't been so bad. In fact, the only slip I have had in that department was the half a caramel apple. Not bad. I really can't count that as any diet of sorts since I have eaten unhealthy meals. Breakfast, not so bad...I usually have eggs (yes, the cholesterol), though today it was plain Cheerios. But Tim and I were taking care of house stuff from 10am or so until 10pm...we ate Arby's for lunch and BK Whoppers for dinner. Now, I had water with all that, but I wonder how many calories I consumed in those 2 meals?!?! Technically speaking, my problem now isn't sweets, it's fatty foods. I don't believe I will be seeing 3lbs shed off anytime soon. I have been doing alright not eating unless I am hungry, but at Erin's last night, I dropped what, 5 pieces of pizza??? And I still felt hungry. Perhaps that's the difference between good food and empty calories.

Erin, I think your running is awesome. I have always wanted to be able to do that. I'm just too lazy, I think. I can't stand getting up that early. Speaking of getting up early and all...can we try and do not only food accountability here, but also spiritual accountability??? I really need it right now and I know that my lack of spiritual discipline is weighing heavily on my lack of personal discipline. I have goals here, but not all of them are weight related. The weight/sinful eating habits are just one of the many byproducts of spiritual neglect in my life and I am tired of it!

Sam, we all know that housework is a workout. You know how easy it is to work up a sweat just doing laundry? I don't know that doing my laundry will offset my whopper tonight, but perhaps with all the water I am drinking, I will get rid of it sooner. Don't I wish it worked that way? As for Niki, what should we specifically be praying for? Do either of you have specific requests?

Alright, I'd go burn some calories tonight still like Erin got to do, but somehow the "exercising" doesn't last as long with a baby in the room...go figure. Just for kicks I am going to weigh in and then go to bed.

This stupid scale has GOT to be wrong. I was wearing nothing but my socks (really hot looking...should I post that picture???) and the scale read 197.5 from 202.1. Not that I am complaining. Let me try again in the morning and see what happens. Something must be going on. All that water is making me poop like a rabbit, only not so small and pellet-like...wouldn't that be nice?!? :-)

Saturday Evening

Glad to hear from you, Sam. 3 pounds - way to go! I think I do need to invest in a scale. I like the idea of weighing on Sunday. Next payday will be scale day too - that's the 15th. Hopefully by then I'll see three pounds or so gone too. Still can't find my tape measure...

Yes, if you figure out how to post that picture of us, that would be a great "BEFORE".

Success of the day: Jogged through the slushy neighborhood. Just trying to get my legs back so it was probably only twenty minutes. I didn't time myself or anything, I just went. I know you two think I'm crazy, but I really enjoy jogging. It's MY thing, you know? And if I can do it in January nastiness, I can do it any time! My goal is a half marathon at the Sunburst (College Football Hall of Fame to Notre Dame stadium) on May 31. I have a loooonng way to go, but I am hoping better eating habits contribute to better overall success & energy with jogging.

I did have my treat of the week this evening. A nice ice cream sundae with leftover toppings from New Year's Eve. I enjoyed it with my family. What a novel idea. Instead of waiting until they all go to bed and I can be alone with "my precious" chocolate, ice cream, whatever, I served my family and myself at the same time. I sat down with them and tried to savor and enjoy each bite. It was weird, because I wasn't even craving the stuff, but I didn't want to miss out enjoying a treat with my family. Another novel idea - a treat actually being a treat. This is something I want my whole family to realize - a treat only qualifies as a treat if it is occasional. Otherwise, it is just a continual indulgence.

Well, I must go. My husband is wanting some quality time... hope this cuts a couple more calories from that ice cream sundae. Later.

Week 1 Down for the Count!

Hey guys...I typed a long blog yesterday, only for it not to go through...I wasn't a happy camper! Anyway, this will probably not be so long, but at least I'm recording. Things are good here...I am at the ...there is nothing sweet in this house /and I'm eating something! mode. Finally got rid of the cookie crisp cereal...speaking of thrifty Michelle, I didn't throw anything away due to the guilt of the ol' bank book! Anyway, the only thing left is the strawberry cake I am currently making to take to Niki's house tonight. We are going for dinner, but no dessert for me! I admit that I have had a cheat (or two) throughout the week, but as of yesterday, was still 3 lbs lighter. I will weigh in again in the morning...once a week is ideal for me...and being on Sunday I can either be praising God, or asking for forgiveness. :) (only on Sundays though) :) I have yet to find the measuring tape, but have my pad of paper all ready for that. I am trying to reprogram myself to admit that house cleaning is now viewed as exercise for me....if I do what really needs to be done...I feel as if I have exercised. Bicep curls=lifting laundry baskets, or strength training. Hopefully I am killing two birds with one stone. Making conscous efforts will go a long way: parking out further at WalMart, etc.

Thursday with Niki went well, so to speak. She heard things she really didn't want to hear, and I could tell she was depressed before we got home. Looks like this isn't going to be pretty, and she will probably lose her hair after all. She is waiting for her plastic surgeon to release her before treatment can start, so we will hear more on that maybe next week.

You both sound like you are doing great at this! Keep up the good work! Since we are blogging our struggles, thoughts, etc everyday (note to self), I thought we need to list at least one of our victories each day. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a little victory-something positive that we did that day.

Here is mine for today: chose a diet soda for lunch instead of the coke I normally crave! Little yes, major yes! Baby steps, baby steps. We will get there. I have the picture taken of us at your house Erin, (I will try to get it on here somehow) and I am excited to see what the three of us will look like in a couple of months. I need to make shorter goals, so I need to really sit down and think about this. My week was full of everything, and everyone else but me, but I think it will slow down for the next week or two before reving back up again. Did I spell that right? Anyway...here are some things I found this week:

Talapia: Gorton's Premium Talapia is great. Yes, it is fried, then we bake it (just like regular fish sticks) but this is really good. The fat content wasn't bad and served with a veggie and salad, made us a great little meal. Keaton ate two helpings! Caleb said, "Mom, this chicken is great!" :)

Erin: good going on the water in the A.M! Just make sure you drink it iced 30 minutes before eating breakfast.

Interesting possibility: the 12 Second Sequence by Jorge Cruise. Check it out and let me know what you think. It runs about $13.00 at WalMart...more expensive on the internet.

Okay, now I must go. hmmmm...I think I am going to go poke my strawberry cake and fill it with jello instead of icing it. Every calorie counts! Talk to you guys tomorrow.

Thrifty, not weak...

Alright, I admit I indulged, sorta...As I told Erin, it went like this...my mom got each of the kids a fairly large caramel apple coated in m&m's. For lunch the other day, I fed them a healthy meal of 2 graham crackers, a half a ham and mustard sandwich, a chunk of velveeta and a slice of an apple. If they ate well, they could have 1/4 of the caramel apple. I opened one up, cut it in 4 chunks and gave each of the kids their piece. 2 of them didn' t want theirs. You wouldn't have wanted me to have thrown them away now, would you??? They were over 5 bucks a piece. I then decided it should be counted as my once a week...So, indeed it was all for the love of saving a penny and had absolutely nothing to do with the caramel covered, perfectly tart granny smith apple with m&m coating. Really!

I'm an Official Blogger!

This is fun. How's it going, Sam? Wish you were here - just one week ago we had eleven happily screaming children here - now I'm back to the usual nine. It's so quiet! I'll keep an eye on Michelle tonight - we are getting cheap pizza to feed the crew. Word has it she's had her one "treat" for the week - but I'll let her tell about that. As for me - I was at the doctor today and I am 156 pounds. But I did have on a hooded sweatshirt... anyway, that makes sense with all the holiday junk I ate.

In the Beginning

Okay girls...here it is...our own LosingIt blog. See what you think and let me know. FYI...the Biggest Loser is on tonight...what more motivation do we need? Talk to you later