Hey. I am sooo feeling your tired, Sam. I am praying for you that you are able to pace yourself and find the help you and Niki need in the days and weeks to come. What a challenge!
Michelle knows all of this, but just to update you, Sam. Do you remember the Eloe family from Bethel? Kent was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2006. Last week they found a new tumor and he had surgery this week. You can check out their inspirational website at www.eloefamily.com. Anyway, we had the privelage of caring for their youngest son, Nolan, from Monday evening until this morning. With that and helping my mom and dad clean out and prepare Grandma's house to sell on Wednesday, I'm exhausted too! We are going to visit Grandpa Vaughn tomorrow (the one with terminal cancer), so the exhaustion is expected to continue. All of these things are necessary, but they take a lot out of me. I anticipate tomorrow to be a day of entertaining the children in a non-child-friendly environment, so I have to gear up for it.
I started throwing myself a pity party today. We got - what do you think, Michelle? - maybe nine inches of snow overnight and this morning. So, I decided to make my workout for the day shoveling snow. Plus, I thought, what a nice surprise for Chris when he gets home - he won't have to worry about it. He can just hang out with the kids tonight - something he hasn't been able to do all week. So I started shoveling...
and this snow was really heavy! So I started getting really annoyed. And I began to pout and feel really sorry for myself. Thoughts such as...
Humph. All I do is work, work, work...
Chris better reaalllly thank me when he gets home!
All I do is work and I never get a thank you.
Or maybe I do get thanked, but never really acknowledged for all of my self sacrifice.
This snow is reaally heavy, I hope I don't throw my back out.
Now that I've started, I might as well finish. But I'm not doing the porch area.
Chris is going to have no idea just how difficult this job is when he sees I did it all. He'll have no idea how hard I worked. I am not going to be appreciated appropriately.
And other such pitiful thoughts...
When I finally woke up to the sin going on in my mind, I was about half way through the job. I mean, I pretty much had it worked out that no matter what Chris may or may not say about me shoveling snow, he was in trouble! Now how horrible is that? I went out with the right attitude, but something sure took over in my mind as I worked. Now I know this is not pleasing to the Lord. Psalm 100 says, "Serve the Lord with joy!" So I started praying, and pray for me too, because I cannot serve my husband or anyone else in a way that is pleasing if I do not have the right attitude. And then I got to thinking about that question on that email you sent, Sam. Do you think you are strong? And I think that might be the key. I am in my humanness utterly exhausted and spent. However, I need additional energy to keep the family atmosphere pleasant and to get through a hard visit tomorrow. I have to lean on HIM, because I haven't got it in me. I wish I would remember that at the beginning of the week, because I would probably be able to pace myself a little better with HIM constantly in my mind as my strength.
Sorry this has nothing to do with food. I'm about in your boat, Sam. I really did not pay a lot of attention to what I did or did not eat this week - which means I probably ate way to much. I'll regroup next week - I'm not giving up on this!
Love ya
Keep us posted.
Erin
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