Week 3-AGAIN!!!

Yeah, not only did I not finish week 3, but I need to really focus on this chapter. So, before I am able to move on, I am going to do week 3 again this week. I don't know why, but this fasting thing is being laid upon my heart as ultra important, so I need to really study this week. It seems like I start with a bang, and am too pooped to pop by Friday. Can I get an AMEN? The study gets to Wednesday, and then I don't do it. Now, why is that? Is God not as important on Wednesday-Fridays? Anyway, I'm sorry I have to lag a week behind, but I really can't go on with this until I get this understanding under my belt.

I've had a few eye-openers this weekend...some that broke my heart with my kids. That is a Dear Sam journal entry to come. I've also come to realize that I do know how to swim. I just have problems facing that fear issue once again. Paul has been great, but I think he is a little concerned now...he sees my fear, sees me try, sees me panic, and then sees me break down into tears and panic attacks. I don't know why I am so scared. We finally got the major fear to come "to the surface."...I'm afraid I'm going to go down head first...I mean, feet directly in the air, head first. Why...I DON'T KNOW. If I did, don't you think I would have spoken to one of my quacky friends by now? I want to master this fear...it has taken a lot of life from me...and I don't want to be it's friend anymore. I am a child of the Living God, for Pete's sake, what do I have to fear? I am an educated, spiritual woman who wants to glorify God in this, and have it be a testimony to my children. Fear is NOT A FRUIT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT! Pray for me in this...I need to study some fear scriptures so I can throw them back into Satan's face when I enter that pool.

Okay, need to go for now...Paul leaves for San Antonio in the morning and I need to spend some time with him. I'll check back in later. Love you guys.

Sam'