Yes, I licked the bowl, but...

Hi. Ugh. Tonight was a self-revelation night. I am seeing that I need to be honest with myself about why I do what I do.

You see, I spent the day in the company of minors. It was a good day to be available to help the lovely Svoboda clan get moved in. While I watched the kids, Chris helped move the big stuff.

As I am sure you all know, after spending the day with all kids, I was looking forward to some adult conversation. Namely with my husband. Being physically exhausted from the day, he fell asleep in his recliner even before the kids got to bed. I tried waking him up a couple times, but I was only met with a few grunts.

Disappointing for me. So, after the kids were put to bed I finished making my mom's birthday cake (party tomorrow) by making the icing. Now, NORMALLY on a night like this ... I'm truly revealing myself here ... I would almost be sort of glad that Chris was asleep on the recliner because I would have time for myself. Time to do what by myself, you ask? Oh, say, finish off the last strip of brownies from the pan, or have a row of Chips Ahoy that Michelle's MIL brought here today. You see, I would never actually be such a pig in front of my husband. But me, the junk food and whoever is on FOX News at the moment get along great.

So, I'm thinking all of this through as I am icing the cake. I am being honest with myself in saying that I truly am lonely right now. When I am lonely, I often look to food for comfort. But that food is only a temporary satisfier. It doesn't last. I need to be looking to God to fill the lonely hole I feel right now. It is almost as if God planned this day for me to realize that when I am lonely I shouldn't even necessarily be looking to my husband to fill the void, because ultimately he can't either. He disappoints, he conks out on me occasionally.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him..."

The tough part about this is that food seems easier than taking refuge in the Lord. In my head I know that it is better and more satisfying to take refuge in the Lord. I can hear and feel my flesh rebel at this truth. It is an effort to seek the Lord. It is an effort to turn from the food. Even though I know that food will not permanently satisfy, my flesh tugs at me to think about how good it feels in the moment to fill the void with food.

So, I am coming to the realization that, like anything good, this will take work and effort. I need to press on toward the goal of replacing food with God. So, yes, I made the icing and I did lick the bowl. However, I avoided the bigger binge that could so easily occur on a night such as this.

Well, girls, how's that for Day 2? Having accountability with you two is such a blessing. Thank you for being the kind of friends that can hear the honest truth and love me anyway!

~ Erin